Pushkar Lohani
After Motiram Bhatta did the initial task of lending a new turn to the Medieval tradition of amorous writing, other critics came forward to lend him their support, and these critics include Gopinath Lohani, Laxmidutta Panta, Naradev Pandey and others. By sharing information about Motiram and by writing independent poems, these critics made immense contribution towards a comprehensive understanding of Motiram’s poetic experiences, besides his personal restlessness and delinquencies. The reason for Motiram’s trepidation and delinquency was feminine hearts. Since he was influenced by various sorts of feminine hearts at various turns of his life, he was unable to forget them easily. Of those he has never been able to forget, we can cite ‘Hari’ as an example. The shadow of Hari has even shadowed the expressions of Motiram. At a time when Motiram and Naradev Pandey clearly mentioned the same Hari as Haribadani, Kashinath Tamot published Kut Padhya written in Motiram’s own handwriting, thereby lending Haribadani an added significance. From it, we can discern that Haribadani had, in fact, played an extremely crucial role in the life of Motiram Bhatta.
The name ‘Hari’ is quite dear to Motiram. The name at times occurs as that of a woman, while in other occasions, it connotes God, the Almighty. There also are occasions when the same denotes merely as a syntactic element to suggest a verbal inflection or an exclamation. Inside Sangeet Chandrodaya, there are 36 pieces by Motiram, of which 32 are nothing but ghazals. Motiram was aware that love should also mean cautiousness to stay free from being entrapped. Yet, caught in a net spread with its knots everywhere, Moitram says:
Yee sanai umeradekhi, man harna laage
Yeenai sundarile julum garna laage
[Since a tender age, these maidens have started robbing me of my heart. These beauties are the ones guilty of such intrigue.]
Motiram, who says, “I can’t dare face Hari,” is in love. It is such a predicament when one can neither give anyone his heart, nor receive one. One can do nothing save endure trepidations, deep within. He expresses the dilemma in the following words:
Na ta hosa basaki rakhiyo, na ta phoola ko rasa chakhiyo
[I could neither stay composed, nor taste the nectar of flowers.]
With an air of repentance, he further says:
Na ta saath basna sangi bhaye; na ta dusmanai sari bhai gaye
Na ta khush bhaikana prem gari, na ta ris gari kana mann hari
[I could neither be a friend to stay close, nor a foe to stay away.
Could neither love in glee, nor could envy and yet steal hearts.]
***
Motiram’s tender heart is beset by conflict. Though he dare not face other beauties, both known and unknown ones, he is unable to face Hari. The inability to face his crush robs Motiram of his sleep, his rest and his senses. The predicament forces him to make such helpless utterance. He can do nothing but console himself in his work, though not in his wishes:
Besai bhayechha haara chudyo hera hariko
Moti napauda bhane behos garayo.
[It’s good that Hari’s necklace has got snapped; she has lost senses on not winning Moti’s hand.]
Motiram, caught among betrayal, trust and mistrust, finds it one and same thing, even if he gulps poison in place of nectar. His dreaming heart is trampled by bad luck. Caught between the margins of love and death, he expresses a strand of hope in these lines:
Asal darja garin mero Harile
Asal moti yasaile chhediyeko
[Hari did the most befitting thing for me. She is the thing that pierced the real pearl.]
Motiram Bhatta considers himself pure gold. In other words, he considers himself a high-order lover as far as love is concerned. Accordingly, he bears a cocksure conviction to force Hari to give in, as expressed in the following words:
Kaso sekhi jawaina ek din Hariko
[How won’t Hari’s hubris fall some day?]
Hari steals Motiram’s heart away but the stolen heart, failing to find a place to land on, becomes pathetic. It looks for support, but finds none from anywhere. As a result, Motiram expresses his mind in the following verses:
Marihaloon bhani maile kati khayen jahar samman
Narakko basa ho sansarma dukhi bhai basnu
[With a desire to die right away, I even drank poison. The world, in fact, is hell for those who live accursed lives.]
Though Sangeet Chandrodaya, a collection of Motiram’s ghazals give some hints about Motiram’s silent affairs with Hari, it gives ample evidences to claim that Motiram’s personality has been powerfully possessed by Hari’s presence. Hari appears not as an amorous and emotional nymphet, but as a mature woman, shrewd and beautiful, and capable of moving everyone’s heart. Her youthfulness impresses everyone; she is everyone’s beloved. All the moths get allured to the flames emanating from this single woman, who’s an emblem of sexual appeal. Motiram has made the following description about Hari:
Baya sohrako man sathiko chha ra po gazzab chha ni pyariko
Mukhako rawab chha chandrako; naniko chha missi lagaunu
[My beloved has an age of sixteen, but a mind of sixty. This is what makes her so amazing. The glory on her countenance is like that of the moon. It is pointless to find any fault in her.]
The mind of a young nymphet is naturally expected to be quite exuberant. Yet, it’s the reverse with Hari. She is mature. But, impressing such a mature mind is not an easy thing. Because of this difference between her age and her maturity, Motiram’s claim upon Hari is propelled more by her physical beauty. It is natural for Hari to exercise such authority upon the entire male universe. For a man, getting under the control of a woman with such salience, instead of keeping her at a balanced distance, is a mark of weakness. This weakness is evident in Motiram Bhatta as well. He clearly accepts the fact that Hari, by showing one hope after another, makes him a plaything:
Mansuba pugnu parai rahos, darshan pani chha kathin jaha
[It’s such a place where even a brief audience has become a rare thing, let alone the fulfillment of all desires.]
It is wise to call Hari the beloved or wife of Motiram, when she is someone who benefits off his weakness, and keeps him trapped between life and death? If it is, that makes Motiram a worthless man. Like a fish trapped in the net, he will have no alternative existence. If he had worth of his own merits, or was able to use his masculinity to assert his will, he would not have uttered an escapist’s attitude:
Timi parkha bhani bhani kana janu, pheri na-aaunu
Khapi saknu chhaina malai ta, timile yasori chhakaunu.
[Ask me to wait, and yet, you may go, never to make a comeback. For me, enduring such trepidations and yet lingering on is not bearable. Your intrigue is unbearable.]
Motiram does not hate Hari. But then, Hari is aware that she has enraptured Motiram by dint of her beauty and form. In that case, Motiram cannot stay away from her. Since Hari knows this, she always keeps Motiram waiting in hope and derives a sort of sadistic pleasure from it. Such readiness to endure hatred and belittling, and yet lingering as a faithful believer is something that makes Motiram’s personality perverted. But then, it is commendable courage on his part to give each of these perversions a creative touch. Since Motiram’s contemporaries, including his close friends, poets and critics know all these things, they write in Motiram Barnanam:
Shringar rasale paripurna bhaka
Hari Badanka basama paryaka
[Though filled with romantic ethos, Motiram himself is under the spell of Haribadan.]
(Naradev Pandey in poet Motiram Bhatta’s illustrated biography (Charitra, p. 72).
Caught under the spell of Haribadini, Motiram frets, and utters:
Jhat aai bachau malai Hari
Ajha samma ma chhu jasari tasari
[Hari, come and save me immediately. I have stayed alive hitherto by hook or by crook.]
(Sangeet Chandrodaya, p. 20)
Like the occurrence of Hari’s name in Sangeet Chandrodaya, the names Hari and Haribadan occur quite frequently in Manodweg Prawah, for Motiram has not yet forgotten the names. But then, Manodweg Prawah also features some other women. Since the work incorporates a myriad of feelings including love, hatred, restlessness, satisfaction and delinquency, the work makes it easy for readers to read Motiram’s temperaments in various points in time. While describing the actions of young boys who follow fairies moving in strange gaits in group along the streets in Kantipur, Motiram himself becomes an aspirant, which he confesses in the following lines:
Paan khaun bhaniman ati palkyo
Indrachok bichma chari talkyo
Jhalla jhalkana gaya jaba tyaha
Mohama parigaya ma ta jaha
[Following my addition to chewing paan, I went to the town-square at Indrachowk, where the fairies arrived. Though I had been there merely for a visit, I happened to fall in love myself.]
(Motiram Bhatta, Manodweg Prawah, p. 18, verse 18)
In that case, who would poke Motiram? He would just utter:
Ma kaha birsunla Hari Hari Harilai yasari”
[God, how would I be able to forget Hari like that!]
Motiram is not aware of the feelings in his beloved’s mind. Though tired of appealing, the wounds in his heart are still fresh. At times, he is alarmed thinking if the lover, in approaching him for love, has come to murder him. Startled, he makes his feelings public, and immediately calls up Hari’s trust in himself as consolation:
Fakatmeri tee hun ma pani chhu piyari tihariko
Katai ta howainan milijuli dui hami sariko
[She is solely mine, as I am only hers. There is no other pair like me and my beloved.]
Motiram, at times, becomes a victim of remorse. He remembers his act of beleaguering the life of a poor soul, and torturing it. But then, when Hari forgets him and decides to go away, he reaffirms his trust and says:
Haribina ma ta basdina ekpal
Aba ta preeti basyo bhaigo achal
Aba priye nalukau timi sakal
[I won’t stay without Hari even for a moment. I am in love, and it won’t falter anymore. Beloved, conceal your face no more.]
Motiram inclines towards Hari and expresses his faith in her, but Hari does not reciprocate with the same degree of faith. Instead, she starts hurting everyone with darts from her youthful eyes. In fact, Hari does not love anyone, though everyone else loves her. Hari is a jar of both nectar and venom. She is a woman, and yet, is a common pivot for many men. Motiram describes what Hari is like in the following verses:
Jhyalma basi nayanale sabaka sharirma
Amrit halahala dubai kana chharkidama
Bachchhan kati kati marikana lot parchhan
Kya kya gazab nayan khanjanle yee garchhan
[Sitting on the window, she sprinkles both nectar and venom on everyone’s body. Many live as living dead, beset by the harm. How mysterious her eyes are! They hurt; they churn.]
[Manodweg Prawah, p. 20, verse 32]
But the jar of nectar falls in someone else’s hands. Motiram is bothered by the question as to how he should keep himself safe from someone who has become a convict for giving poison to others. In one hand, he talks of avenging if he meets her again, but soon he contemplates on what he would lose if his beloved agrees to come with him. He mentions to her certain things they could accomplish any time, and asks why she is obliged to tolerate everything and stay quiet.
With time, spring returns to Motiram’s life, but Hari is nowhere around. Then, saying that he is aware of what luck he has at his disposal, he says:
Yo daiba ho khooni farak gari bhagya dinya
[Destiny is to be blamed for bestowing luck in different degrees.]
Yet, Motiram doesn’t lose heart. Instead, he resolves to vanquish fate. Such is his hope:
Ahilye ta bhagya sutigo bhani chuppa lagchhu
Kolte phiryo pani bhane ani pheri janchhu
[For now, I will keep quiet, thinking that my fate has slept. But the moment it changes side, I shall wake up and go.]
(Manodweg Prawah, p. 24, verse 53).
The poet moves ahead in one hope. He is careless about grace or its absence. He is driven by single ambition: to meet his beloved. It would suffice for him if she does not forget him. Spring, the abbot, gives poet Motiram a powerful blow. Through deterred by the blow, Motiram, does not fear a sword. All that he fears is the bantering from his beloved. He introduces the woman of his dream as follows:
Bada gambhir chalki amrit sari jo boldachha bachan
Galaki mala ti sun rasik meri haribadan
[A woman with grave steps, her words are as sweet as nectar. Haribadan, my passionate lover, is a golden necklace.]
Motiram Bhatta considers Haribadan a necklace around his neck, but Haribadan, on her part, does not make Motiram a garland around her neck. Motiram frets; he shrieks. Though he exercises a lot of perseverance, there are moments he loses the balance of his emotions, and expresses his disgust on not having with him the lover of his pick:
Timile basidinda dukhi hunagaya samjhanchhu jhalmal ma ta
Timra jhai mukha-chandra pheri arako halsal paaun kata
Kahile milchha sudha asal adharko ya chha ti kata kura
Paro bhai kana pirdachhyau kati timi jhok utchha khaun heera
[I get forlorn when you forget me; I remember you even more. Presently, I won’t find any other moonlike countenance as beautiful as yours. When will I get the ambrosia from the best lips on earth, or from the hilltops on your chest? Taking the form of mercury, how much do you torment me? I am so cross that I sometimes feel like chewing you, what if you are a piece of diamond!]
This very aggressive on Motiram’s part brings him benefit in return. What his beloved does in response is described here:
Gahabhari aansu aaja meri priyale
Bachan makana bhandi khus garin ankamalale
[Her eyes filled with tears, my beloved, today, embraced me, and pleased me with her lucid words.]
This invigorates Motiram even more. Posing himself as a sensible man, he carefully conceals his weaknesses and presses closer to the woman he loves. Expressing his intimacy with her, he writes:
Jhyalma basi nayanle sabka shirma
Ankus lagai najhikikana lukna gharma
Tanthyou ta hajir bhayera kura ma garthyan
Kahan usai sadakma yasari ma marthya
[Sitting on the window, you would hook my brain with your eyes, and pull me to hide with you at home. Meekly, I used to present myself. Let alone the question of talking; I would instead die there and then on the road.]
What is the type of woman Motiram admires is clear from these verses. It too is clear for the readers to understand what sort of a woman would make Motiram satisfied with her company. When a man, beset by restlessness, finds a woman talking or smiling to him, he is moved to seductive emotions. Motiram makes this fact clear:
Ekdin Chandrabadan Hari jabamilin sodhipuchhari garyan
Anandai chhu ma ta bharera priyako sundam mohair parya
[One day, when I met Chandrabadan Hari, I asked how she was doing. When she said she was good, I was happy beyond telling.]
(Manodweg Prawah, p. 14, verse 75)
Though it is clear what sort of people Motiram and Haribadani are, Haribadani appears more to be a serious and charismatic woman, who can seduce men, and is herself a nymphet. Motiram, on the other hand, appears committed to possessing the woman of his choice by all means. For him, pure love is optional; it suffices for him to receive a woman’s warm embrace and seductive kisses. For that reason, he resorts to all sorts of means—including lies or intrigues—to bring the woman under his clutch.
Motiram Bhatta, in his lifetime, fell in love with many women. But if the degree of his success in these affairs is to be analyzed, we also need to consider his age. At one point, following a separation, he utters to have lost his sleep, rest and senses, the way English poet PB Shelley laments, “I die! I faint! I fail!” Shelley does not lament alone; he also hints that if he is deprived of a shower of kisses on his dry lips and eyebrows as a mark of love, and is not allowed to press himself on the breast of his beloved, he would fall apart, fragmented into pieces. Motiram, on his part, blames fate for everything, and is ready to endure whatever befalls him. Another English romantic poet, John Keats, also resolves to build a temple of love in his heart and be its priest in order to safeguard love. In case of Motiram, since his beloved is exposed to everyone, he is unable to enshrine her in a temple, as Keats can. Hari can reach everywhere; she is everyone’s favorite. For that reason, Motiram is unable to paternalize the relation, and so he says:
Hariko dekhiyo chala ma hardam hunchhu rakhawala
[I saw Hari’s manners; I am her guard every moment.]
(Sangeet Chandrodaya, p. 8)
But then, how long can a man guard someone else? Even as he is busy keeping vigil, someone else gets entangled with Hari, or say, Hari gets someone under her spell. Motiram’s inclination towards Hari is, therefore, more physical. He doesn’t appear committed to making Hari his sole crush. He himself indicates the kind of heart he possesses:
Batti nibhyo ta kina tela halnu
Chor bhagigaigo taba kina jagnu
Solai sukya ma kana pula halnu
Phebains gayama kina swasni rakhnu.
[Why add oil, if the lamp is doused? Why stay awake, if the buggler has fled away? Why lay a bridge when the river has gone dry? Why have a wife, is youth has waned?”]
(Manodweg Prabah p. 35, verse 115)
If, tomorrow, Hari betrays and picks someone else, or if she ages and ceases to be attractive, or say, he finds someone else, like Hari, and falls in love, what would Motiram do? Or, what would he say?
Since the word ‘Hari’ is extremely dear to Motiram, it is not a matter of surprise that different readers have evaluated the world from different perspectives. There is nothing to be shocked about this. Motiram’s own Kut Padhya introduces Haribadini as his beloved, and right at the beginning of the book, he mentions “Motibadan, Hariram” adding the suffixes of each-other’s name to the first name of the other. This secret is brought to light by Kashinath Tamot. On this very basis, he thinks Haribadan to be Motiram’s wife, and that they would name their would-be kid Hariram if he is a son, and Motibadan, if she is a daughter. Tamot says, there also are moments when one finds room to think Haribadan is not really Motiram’s wife. At times, she seems someone from a royal family, whom Motiram can only admire form a distance but seldom think of possessing. She also appears like a whore from Kathmandu and not from Banaras, or a beauty from around Asan. (See Kashinath Tamot’s “Motiram Bhattako Haribadan: Ek Kautuhal”, Kut, Indu: Year 1, No. 5; pp 8-10. 2033 BS).
Motiram has bestowed a lot of interest on Hari, Haribadan or Haribadani. Similarly, he has also made frequent mention of Chandra, Chandrabadan or Chandrabadani. For example:
Kasto roop rahechha Chandra bhanuki ya kaam autara ho?
[What a form! Shall I call her Chandrabadan (moon-bodied) or an embodiment of sexual appeal?]
(Usha Charitra, p. 13)
Dekhchhu Chandrabandan nayan kamalka paat jhai banyaka asal
[I see her moon-like form; eyes are beautiful like lotus petals.]
(Usha Charitra, p. 19)
Yekdin Shri Anuruddha Chandrabadani sathli lahad garnubho
[One day, Shri Anuruddha took Chandrabadani along and started flirting with her.]
(Usha Charitra, p. 23)
Whatever the case, Motiram’s ‘Hari’ appears in various forms in the context of his life. With time, Motiram’s emotionality crosses every limit:
Herin juhar pani jo Haritola maha
Yasta juhar Alakapurima chha kaha?
[The jewels seen in the streets of Hari are not available even in Alakapuri (heaven).]
(Usha Charitra, p. 13)
Hari, for Motiram is so popular a name that he happens to imagine a street after her name. In a person of such fame, there definitely must be certain qualities that are incredible. We cannot do without analyzing her presence in detail to ascertain why she is so famous: Is it because she is exceptionally beautiful, or is Motiram’s concubine, or a lover of poets in Moti Mandali (Motiram’s circle), or say, is the most famous whore of those days.?
Hari is loved not only by Motiram. Like him, there also are others, who are mad in love with Hari. Some of them, on knowing about Hari’s affairs with Motiram, even try to patch up the two of them by visiting Hari. Naradev Pandey makes the following description about the condition of Motiram:
Ris garnu chhaina pran upar timle yaso gari
Bolau jhatta pranlai manma daya dhari
Ee sab sakhiharu pani dikdar bahut bhayi
Khanu pinu haru sabai chhodiyi raatbhari
[It is pointless on your part to hate your soul-mate like this. Have mercy on your soul-mate, and send him words immediately. All your friends too seem quite fed up; they have abandoned their food and drink, are staying aware all the night.]
(Sangeet Chandrodaya, p. 30)
Naradev Pandey takes a lot of pain for the sake of his friend. But he is not the only one to be bothered by this reality; there also are other friends who share their concern. It is a great thing for them to be moved by Motiram’s plight, and to give him their company all night, forgoing their food and drinks. Motiram is in deep pain, because Hari has become the unattainable idol of his life. He can never think of parting with Hari. Motiram expresses his extreme care this way: “Tasbir timro lekhi tahin dhyan khoop dhari” (Having painted your face, I stared concentrating on it.) (Sangeet Chandrodaya, p. 30).
It is a matter of surprise that Hari has no feeling for someone who is mad in love for her. Motiram, on his part, is a poet; it is therefore a rational thing to ask how he painted Hari’s face, which brought a live image of Hari in front of him, on which, he could concentrate with deep absorption. Naradev has also mentioned how Motiram utteres words, believing them to appease the woman of his choice:
Nachera hansi japtathe Ram Ram Hari
Din raat madhur bolile tinlai khus gari.
[Amid dance and smile, he used to chant: ‘Ram’ and ‘Hari’, trying to make her happy with his lucid voice, day in and day out.]
(Sangeet Chandrodaya, p. 61)
There is an evidence that Motiram adopted the name ‘Ram Hari’, combining a part of his name, and a part from that of Haribadan’s name. This indicates that through this symbolism, he wants to immortalize the names of both. In other words, like the names of Adam and Eve, Shiva and Parbati, Radha and Krishna, and Sita and Rama, he wants their composite name ‘Ram Hari’ to become a symbol of immortality, and get establish in the society.
If Haribadini had been his wife, Motiram would not have the compulsion to stay so passionate about her all the time. A man doesn’t stoop to the wrangling and bargaining of his wife, as much as he submits to the love of his beloved. If she had been his wife, he wouldn’t have to send his friend to negotiate, and stay waiting outside. Naradev also mentions that all his friends are moved to pity, seeing Motiram’s plight:
Timrai nimitta sundari! Sabko bipat bhayo,
So jani jod rit yahan manma day gari
Ris garnu chhaina premi upar hai nisthuri, yahan
Leu pichha ti premiko premali bhari
[Oh beauty, just for your sake, everyone has fallen into destitute. Considering that, you pair up, filling your heart with pity. Heartless woman, why don’t you show love to your passionate lover? Accept the love of your lover; fill him with love.]
(Sangeet Chandrodaya, p. 61)
Instead of listening to Nardev Pandey’s suggestion to accept the love of her passionate lover, Haribadani, on her part, refutes it caring not to shower love on Motiram:
Yo sohra barshako jawani yo premiko mijaj
Yasto basantako bahar nachhoda sundari!
[Oh beauty! Do not let go this youthful age of sixteen, this love-laden manner, and this springtime thrill.]
(Sangeet Chandrodaya, p. 61)
The youthful age of sixteen is something that impressed Naradev the most. Though he devotes all his body and mind to his beloved, he is unable to get reciprocated with what he is intending. So he writes:
Preeti gari na ta manle kahilyai
Adhar sudha sara piye re aba
[In spite of loving so much with all my heart, I could never, but, drink nectar from her lips.]
(Sangeet Chandrodaya, p. 62)
In this condition, Naradev gives an advice:
Khanu pinu pyari! Kina yo mayale gari badhyou re
Aba ta piyari darshan deu birahile yati magyo re.
(Sangeet Chandrodaya, p. 62)
[Eat and drink, beloved! But why did you bind me with such love? Come on; grant me an audience now. Your passionate lover asks for this.]
What is clear from these verses is that Hari’s physical beauty has mesmerized everyone, and all are mad in love for her. But Hari’s ruthless heart cannot appreciate the same. What Hari needs is not love but a young man who has a lot of money. She wants to rip everyone’s heart into pieces and sadistically enjoy the sound coming from the fracture. Yet, Naradev has the following advice for such a woman:
Yasto ris garyou bhane aba janam usai jala
Hola nyauri mari pachhito pachhi hola hola
[If you harbor such fury, your life can go wasted. Later, you will reap nothing but repentance.]
(Sangeet Chandrodaya, p. 63)
Even as they are giving and receiving advices, the two loss the sense of the passage of time. The output is nothing but expressing one-way pain and trepidation. Caught in the love-knots of Hari, poor Naradev, while expressing his own plight, tries to win others’ sympathy:
Aba raat pani sab yo yasari
Ajha preeti nagarnu mama kasari?
[The entire night has slipped off now; how come you don’t still love me?”]
(Sangeet Chandrodaya, p. 64)
All night, Hari listens to Naradev unilaterally. She shows interest neither in Motiram nor in Naradev. Both Motiram and Naradev are glued to her, and thus, trapped. They are both passionate lovers of Hari, but fail to make Hari their own concubine. They do their best to bring her to their own favor by trying all the tricks they can: pleading, intimidating or talking about the limits of youthfulness. But they both fail. Posing himself as a subject of pity, Naradev writes:
Dukhi mathi piyari daya nagari
Ajha yas birahi upari tumari
Man khus nahunu ni Hare, kasari?
[Beloved, have mercy on the poor lout! How come you don’t still show pity upon your passionate love, making yourself happy?”]
(Sangeet Chandrodaya, p. 64)
Neither Motiram, nor Naradev is aware how women dominate men, if the latter pose themselves as subjects of sympathy. The ruthless nature of Hari leaves every heart wounded, and they are beset by guilt. Their bodies, unable to receive the warmth of love, writhe like a body, whose throat is slit by a sharp-edged weapon, and left without beheading it. They are far from getting peace. Naradev is, in a way, fed up of Hari’s capricious mind. In clear terms, he reprims the ruthless one who harbors a pouch of venom:
Baru marna kabulchha malai Hari
Aba chhoda na nishthur man jahari
[Hari, I would rather be ready to die! But stop making your heart ruthless and venomous.]
(Sangeet Chandrodaya, p. 64)
Naradev sends clear message against those who enter the fray of love with hearts filled with poison. By getting trapped in her snares himself, Naradev can tell what sort of a woman Motiram’s Hari is. Seeing the ruthlessness of Hari’s heart, Naradev is even ready to die. But Motiram, on his part, is bent of availing nectar from lips, through he knows those eyes to be venomous. He writes:
Jhat aai bachau malai Hari
Ajha samma ma chhu jasari tasari.”
[Hari, come and save me immediately. I have stayed alive hitherto by hook or by crook.]
(Sangeet Chandrodaya, p. 20)
Hari, who is devoid of a feeling heart, shows who has become a burden for whom in the fray of love. Compared to everyone else, Motiram has to endure the most painful condition for falling in love with Hari. All other friends of Motiram love her too, though the love of each one of them also bears blots of darkness. Ratnalal, another poet in love, also expresses his lucid and acrid experiences, restlessness, nagging and complaints. He is made conscious by the question how long he has to wait, hoping for the girlfriend to respond. When he has promised everything from the body to the heart, she should either say yes or no, and it is a specialty on Ratnalal’s part to make her feel this. He is well aware of the type of rebuttal one faces, when he falls in love with a heartless lady:
Najar bishalu tyo chhuri dhasda chot paryo sarhai
Baru jyanai linu aakhir yaha kahoon na sahoon
[The blades of those sharp and venomous eyes hurt too much; you had better kill me, instead of rendering me incapable of speaking out, or bearing on.]
(Sangeet Chandrodaya, p. 42).
Caught in the claws of a ruthless lover, Ratnalal is in great pain. As soon as he reaps betrayal from the maiden, he is left writhing. In the same way as Naradev visits Hari to negotiate for Motiram when he finds the latter highly despondent, Ratnalal also summons a close friend and asks him to run errands on his behalf to the same ruthless lady:
Dubi marun ki ta khai maruaun bish hunchu kahan aba thir
Jaau sakhi Harilai sunau, Ratna rahena sharir
[Should I drown myself or kill by gulping poison? How can I stay stable now? My friend, go and tell it to Hari that Ratna is no more alive.]
(Sangeet Chandrodaya, p. 45)
The same Hari betrays Ratna as well. God, how many people she can betray! Rajeev Lochan Joshi also makes attempt to introduce the same Hari:
Dosti mathi rahanchhe ke kulin jan ke thamchha ke dasduna
Ke agyan chhutnya Hari sangini kun ke khai pran nasinya
[Friendship stays much higher, be it for the rich or others.
When will Hari free herself of ignorance? When will she breath her last?]
(Shloka Sangraha, p. 9)
Young Motiram is impressed, as soon as he sees a young maiden, and falls in love with her immediately. It is even possible that he, busy in love with Haribadini, is also in simultaneous love with other maidens. When he fails to receive reciprocation from Haribadini, he hopefully turns to another woman, Haider:
Haider hansa na hansa aasa aruko maile garya mai marun
[Haider, smile to me. May I die, if I have nurtured hope from anyone else.]
(Shloka Sangraha, p. 10)
In order to be Haider’s confidante and receive his love, Motiram gets ready to forget Hari. Though everyone else knows about the imagination of Ram-Hari as a composite of Motiram and Haribadini, Motiram Bhatta tries to befool his friend. From this, we can easily discern that Hari has become a worthless being in the eyes of others. Motiram, now in love with Haider and busy in her service and eulogy, considers himself a devotee. In order to win Haider’s trust, he says:
Bhajanya chhaina ma Ram naam Hariko kya ko garun dharmale
[I shan’t chant Ram’s or Hari’s name anymore; tell what I should I do in the name of dharma?]
(Shloka Sangraha, p. 11)
Slighted by heartless Hari, Motiram brushes aside all his erstwhile trust and belief, and goes to the refuge of another woman Haider, who is equally ruthless. And thus, Motiram tries to relit his lost faith and belief:
Timra netra katara dhara sarika janoo kasori hare
Khatir chhaina rati malai marunla bhanya parikhya gare
[How sharp-edged your eyes are, how I am I to know? You may put me to any test; I don’t mind even laying my life.]
(Shloka Sangraha, p. 11)
Since Motiram abandons a woman as famous as Hari and gets closer to yet another woman Haider, we have no rooms to name Hari as Motiram’s wife. If observed merely as a lover, Haribadini has relations not only with one man, but with many. Which word, other than a ‘slut’, best suits such a ruthless and lecherous woman?
***
[Trans: Mahesh Paudyal]
[Pushkar Lohani (b. 1939) is a poet, storywriter and novelist. His distinguished fame in Nepali literature lies in his treatment of sex as a literary subject. Besides these genres, he also writes haiku, choka and tanka. His Chahakdar Mentol ra Pilpile Laltin, Bhatta – Motiram Bhatta, Panch Say Barsha: Sun ho ki Ghun? (Research and Criticism), Koudi (Collection of poetry), Aakash Bibhajit Chha (Novel, co-authored), Peepalbot (Poems of Japanese model, co-authored), Paryayawachi Sabdakosh (Dictionary) are his published works. He also edited Sundarikalik and Reetuvarnan tatha Samashypurti while Mahamandal is published even today under his chief editorship. The essay above is from Bhatta – Motiram Bhatta.]
