Time and Again

Ujala Kapali

Dear Mother,
Time and again I’d wonder:
What made you so strong?
What carved you so brave?
What did you have to go through that the world became a charade?

But Mother,
I live in a longing,
Time and again,
I wish to hear you hum,
 sitting by the window, watching the moon
I’d hide behind the curtain of that same room. playfully, I’d mimic your tone.
The way you’d tuck your hair,
braid them in ways, I’d never get to wear!
I live in yearning,
Time and again
I’m tempted to get a whip of your scent, walking past you, ceased by your giggle. happily, I’d strut like you do.
The way you’d look full of love, them in ways , I’d never get a cup of!
I live in this ever bounding craving,
Time and again
I’m willing to see you run,
waiting for me, curling in your arms, delightedly, I’d put myself to rest.
The way you’d bring me heaven, flow them in ways, I’d never gain.
I live in Agony,
Time and again
I’m lost on your absent thoughts,
deep in the curious sea, wondering what your favourite cup would be.
Searching for your favourite memory of me.
Perhaps, then the world will look a bit lively.
Time and again
I forget to dream.
I forget to live.

[Ujala Kapali, she is an aspiring poet from Kathmandu, creating in both English and Nepali languages. She has published few works and has done collaboration on Mental Health with International poets. She indulges in drawing and reading as her hobbies.]