Jake Sheff
I’m a book owned by all, yet none read me front to back and rarely am I consulted after grade school. Some say that out of books I am the most underrated, while others say – in jest I hope – that I’m the only book it’s cool to burn. What am I?
Exiter Riddle #37
How my ideals mislead me, Spleen,
You’ve no idea! When many shine
And few are dull I’m not so keen.
All evil starts with a “You may.”
A dunce’s ounces love routine.
Latrine
Recitals, peri-rectal fa-
Bles anger you, my foe. With gren-
Adine
You’ll mix old words to rouge the day.
“Bananas are banausic green,”
Your nausea says. That’s methylene-
Dioxymethamphetamine
To one mastering how to obey!
How my ideals mislead me, Spleen,
You’ve no idea! When many shine
And few are dull I’m not so keen.
All evil starts with a “You may.”
If saber-sober Time let Pain
Define
A thing, “It’s new, but should it stay,”
Would be a question too obscene!
For clean-
Ing grammar use a gamma ray.
A pocket’s value taunted Cain.
A definition drove the Queen
Of Diamonds mad. Now gassy min-
Utes make the classy hour pay.
How my ideals mislead me, Spleen,
You’ve no idea! When many shine
And few are dull I’m not so keen.
All evil starts with a “You may.”
A tourist of your own marine
Mien,
You’ll drink and find a cabaret
In Murder’s youthful hands, then glean
What fin-
Icky novitiates sauté.
Obnoxious as a Time Machine,
Physicians come to quarantine
Ideals. But Death’s a wolverine
That sprays today like it’s Danaë.
How my ideals mislead me, Spleen,
You’ve no idea! When many shine
And few are dull I’m not so keen.
All evil starts with a “You may.”
