Sibu Dhakal
Nepalese society is interwoven with family relations creating a synchronic order amidst the heterogeneity in which one cannot live doing away with the kinship. Ours is the society made up of families, conventionally joint families. Viewed this way, every family is an indispensable unit of society, and every society is a chain of families. Relationships are the sources of love, affection, bondage, responsibility, and security. Presence of relatives is pivotal at major events of life like birth, wedding, and death ceremony.
Jhalak Man Gandharva (1935 – 2003) is a highly revered name in folk music history of Nepal. His contribution is unparalleled in the genre of Nepali folk song, especially Gaine Geet known as Karkha. Though he released only one music album during his music career, the success was and is, unarguably, at the apex. His songs depict typical Nepali folk lifestyle and the woes and worries of contemporary society. His preference of Sarangi, a local musical instrument, to play with his songs makes his music more melodious and heart-touching.
The song Aamale sodhlinni… (mother may ask) holds a special space in the hearts of Nepali people who listen to it. It depicts the contemporary socio-economic condition of Nepali society; a post-world war situation. The theme of the song is that a dying soldier sends his last message from the battlefield to his family members regarding his near-death wish. He remembers his family members and sends different messages to each of them. According to Anil Adhikari, “This folk song, attached to the hearts of common folks, reveals the subject matter of the war waged to suppress the continuation of the revolution against the Delhi agreement that is supposed to have ended the revolution launched in 1950 against the Rana regime” (70). To clarify Adhikari, a revolution was executed by the Nepalese people to eradicate the Rana regime in 1950; which ended with the signing of the tripartite Delhi agreement in the same year. A faction of the leadership including Dr. K. I. Singh condemned the Delhi agreement arguing it was a betrayal; as they did not want to keep even one Rana member in the interim cabinet. Dr. K.I. Singh, commander of the Liberation army in the west front, continued the revolution in western Nepal. This is the very revolution Adhikari is referring to. Adhikari connects the theme of the song to a specific war; however, this song can be interpreted as a common phenomenon of any war in which the soldiers exhibit extraordinary bravery, sacrifice their life, having left their family in grief at home.
A major concern of this essay is to explore the family relations and their implications in practical life as depicted in the song. This article aims to discover why the dying soldier is biased to his elder brother, sister-in-law and spouse. He sends varied messages to his family members from the battlefield in which he holds a negative attitude towards his own elder brother, sister-in-law and wife. The extracted lines of lyrics convey his message to his elder brother.
Dajai le sodhlanni ! Khoi bhai !bhanlan
Angsai badhyo bhandiye
My elder brother may ask, “Where is my brother?”
Tell him he will get more parental property now. (paraphrased translation)
This is the message of the dying soldier to his elder brother. It helps us understand that the relationship of brothers is centered around property. Ancestral property is equally divided between or among the brothers (excluding sisters in those days) not only as a tradition but also legally. In this connection, the death of a brother is good news as the property is divided among the living brothers only. Here, one needs to know what the law of the land says. The dying soldier has a son to whom he sends a message, too. If the son can claim for his father’s share of ancestral property, then the elder brother need not be happy. The wounded soldier does not seem to have thought through this perspective. He has bad relation with his elder brother. There can be two meanings of his message: first, a relationship is built on the foundation of property, and second, it is an expression of the soldier’s negative perception of his brother. In Nepalese patriarchal social structure, father holds the supreme position in the family. Then comes the position of the elder brother. After the demise of the father, it is the responsibility of the elder son of the family to take the responsibility of the family. There are people who regard their elder brother as substitute of father. They keep him in the place of father. People also keep the wife of elder brother in the place of mother with high reverence.
The dying soldier sends a message to his sister-in-law, too (wife of elder brother). He sends her the most remarkable message that she should be very happy and feast on mutton at his demise.
These lines of the song convey a message to the sister-in-law.
Bhauju le sodhlinni ! Khoi dewar !bhanlin
Khasi kata bhandiye
Sister-in-law may ask, “Where is my brother-in-law?”
Tell her to feast on mutton. (paraphrased translation)
This message carries a sense that sister-in-law is never a blood of the family as she comes from another family. There are reasons for her to be happy at the demise of her husband’s brother; one being the reason for getting more property, and the other getting rid of a large family size. In this regard, Adhikari explores socio-cultural context and writes “sister-in-law becomes well-off as her husband’s property increases” (67). As we dig deeper into the social context, the negative attitude held by the soldier toward his sister-in-law is not merely economic; it is in fact, a reflection of gender discrimination. Women members of the same family were discriminated against in the erstwhile society. A sister-in-law suffers from two fundamental reasons: first, she is a woman, and the next, she is from another family. This might be the cause of hatred towards a sister-in-law. A woman in the position of a hated sister-in-law undergoes a traumatic suffering.
Relationship of brother-in-law and sister-in-law can be studied in the context of modern history of Nepal that follows the initiation of unification policy by late King Prithvi Narayan Shah. History is evidence that his descendants fell victim of avarice of ancestral property in the form of division of kingdom or the bestowing of principalities. Due to the fear that Bahadur Shah might claim a share in the kingdom (territory), his elder brother Pratap Singh Shah kept him in confinement. Regarding this historical fact Dr. Dhakaram Sapkota mentions “After the demise of his father, Pratap Singh Shah grew the suspicion that partition of the kingdom would be demanded” (119). This was the reason why Bahadur Shah was confined. Later, he was exiled to Bettiah, India. Following the early death of Pratap Singh Shah, his wife, Rajendra Laxmi called her brother-in-law Bahadur Shah to Kathmandu and began carrying the regency jointly as her son was a minor at that time. However, “the joint regency carried by brother-in-law and sister-in-law could not sustain for a long duration due to the reasons like suspicious nature and luxurious lifestyle of Rajendra Laxmi” (Sapkota 119). The events substantially led to the confinement of Bahadur Shah by Rajendra Laxmi. Later, events grew to the extent of imprisonment of Rajendra Laxmi by Bahadur Shah. This historical episode of brother-sister-in-law relationship (dewar-bhaujusambandha) and the struggle for power has left its deep reflection in the folk life of Nepalese society. Regarding the moral norms of a ruler, Niccolo Machiavelli writes in his book The Prince; “Moral norms are established as prescriptions that ought to be followed by individuals in order to do well and avoid evil in their private as well as public lives”(Seid Ali243). The conducts of the rulers are prescribed to the people to follow. So the populace copies what the rulers have exhibited as their moral conduct and behaviour. Therefore, the message of the dying combatant to his sister-in-law is nothing but a part of the whole that has been taught by history.
Another message the soldier sends is to his wife. Through the message, he releases her from the bondage of the relationship. According to him, she is now free to choose her path of life. The message conveyed to her is –
Priya le sodhlinni ! Khoi swami !bhanlin
Bato fukyobhandiye
My mistress may ask, “Where is my husband?”
Tell her that now she is free. (paraphrased translation)
A soldier spends his youth staying outside his home during his service period. He may not be able to fulfill the physical needs of his spouse. He may develop a bad relationship with his partner. The deterioration of the husband-wife relationship is reflected in the message. In this regard, Anil Adhikari writes “Along with the fact that Lahure was injured in battle by a bullet, the context is presented that the cause of his death was the bitterness in love and family life or the mismatched relationship with his wife” (69). To support the argument of Adhikari, the real cause of the death of the soldier is the bitterness of family relationship that pushed him to the frontline of the battlefield. So, he says through his message that his mistress should be happy at his demise and she should no longer be a part of his family. His message comes against the cultural assumption that death of a spouse does not end the relationship.
The soldier sends positive messages to his elder and younger sisters. His concern is about their future. Death of a brother is irreparable loss to the sisters. They cannot get gifts from him anymore. Love for them is revealed in the message. He is quite loving to his daughter, too. He remembers his friends and wants them to forget him. He posits the relationship of mother at the summit. He expresses that his father may mourn for a year or so but his mother may mourn the whole life. The dying soldier is biased regarding the family relationship. He is positive towards his mother, father, younger brother, elder and younger sister, and his daughter; but he is negative towards his elder brother, sister-in-law and spouse. Thus, the message sent by the soldier to his family members is a socio-cultural, historical and psychological reflection of the contemporary society.
References
Adhikari, Anil. “Amale Sodhlin Ni Khoi Choro Bhanlin: Context Analysis of the Song.” Adhyayan Journal, Vol. X, No-10, June – 2023, pp. 63-71.
“Hey Barai (Amaile Sodhlin).” YouTube, uploaded by Music Nepal, 20 May 2022. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXS4HFognG8.
“Jhalak Man Gandharva.” Wikipedia, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jhalak_Man_Gandarbha. Accessed 22 April 2025.
Sapkota, Dhakaram. “The Contribution of Bahadur Shah in the Unification of Nepal.” HISAN Journal, Vol.10, No.1, Dec.2024, pp. 117-124.
Seid Ali, Mohammed. “Morality and Politics with Reference to Machiavelli’s The Prince.” European Scientific Journal,Vol.11, No.17, June 2015, pp. 233-253.
